Balance

This morning J and I went to the cancer clinic for 10am so that I could have the usual pre-chemo blood work. You may remember from last week that my treatment was delayed due to low neutrophils (infection fighting cells in the blood). My chemo was scheduled for 11am today and labwork typically takes an hour so we decided to hang out at the clinic and wait.

Waiting for blood work to come back from the lab is rather like trying to balance in the middle of a teeter totter. You do everything you can to be where you need to be to ensure good results but in the end, you never know which way it’s going to go. Could be up, could be down.
Well, for me, it was down; my neutrophils have fallen further still. I’m not officially neutropenic (dangerously low/very high infection risk) but I am in the moderate zone. If my system hasn’t recovered by next Wednesday (30 July) I’ll be given a booster from the category of drugs known as G-CSF (Granulocyte colony stimulating factor).  I’ll have either Neupogen or Neulasta. They encourage the bone marrow to produce more white blood cells. Another blood test on Friday, 1 Aug, will determine if my blood has recovered enough for me to receive treatment.

It’s another unexpected delay but I’m hopeful that my system will return to normal any day now. There is still time to have my final two treatments and still make the trip ‘home’… but I’ll have to talk to the Doc and see what the plan is. Looks like I get to play on the see-saw a little longer.

Besides wondering about blood work and treatment I have done a little drawing this week. A friend and I went down to Quidi Vidi to sketch. Boats are much more challenging than they look!

A boat in Quidi Vidi with an Octopus, which I hope is NOT in Quidi Vidi.

This drawing was less flattering to the boat than I wanted so I decided it’s fate was to be taken down to see Davy Jones, hence the Octopus grappling the side of the boat. Ironically, after deciding to give up on the drawing and just play with it, I think it improved with the addition of the creature.  After another couple boat attempts I switched to the landscape. The scene I drew is a fair bit different from real life; I removed a mountain to bring the ocean into view. I also removed a few stages and some fishing rooms so as to highlight the cute little cottage. I think it needs another building though; maybe a smaller one to the right. What do you think?

With plenty of yarn and art supplies, and a good weather forecast for walking, I’ll be content to wait for good news next week.  It’s all about finding balance.  Sometimes when you don’t know how things are going to go, you continue to balance in the middle and find ways to enjoy it. 🙂

Soup Dragons & Jam

Does any one remember the Soup Dragons song from the ’90s, or the original Stones’ version, “I’m Free”?
Well, that’s me for another week.  Due to my white blood cells being too low my treatment is delayed until next Friday.  A week off from visits to the clinic is always nice. I can mostly do what I want as long as I keep in mind that my risk for infection is higher than usual.  The weather looks good so J and I will be out for walks and the flower gardens around the yard could use some tidying up.  I might have to miss the Saturday knitting group at the yarn shop though  😦

The nurses have told me that there is nothing I did, or didn’t do, that caused the low reading of infection fighting cells.  It’s just a process in the bone marrow that will bounce back with time.  I’ll have a blood test on the 25th; the white blood cells should be up by then and then treatment will go ahead.  I’ll also be able to go knitting 🙂

I prefer to think of this as a minor delay rather than a set-back.  Rather like a traffic jam; I’ll get where I’m going but a little later than originally planned. 
Hmmm, speaking of jam, there are some JamJam cookies in the kitchen. I’m sure I heard them calling me…

 

Trending Now…

Using some social media lingo: What’s trending now?  my liver!

I met with my oncologist today for the pre-chemo blood test and check up and was given more good news… my liver function blood markers continue to move even further into the normal range.  The ‘trend’ for my liver health since I started CIS-Gem is looking very promising.

This is a quick update tonight.  With chemo on Friday I will post again soon with how that goes.

Wishing everyone a good night and hope your day went well too  🙂

World Cup Fever

The previous 4 1/2 weeks of J and my quadrennial TV-watching extravaganza finished yesterday with a spectacular football (soccer) game between Germany and Argentina as they played for the 2014 World Cup.
A tradition that I started in 2010 is to start knitting a bear during the first game we watch and then continue on with the outfit of the team who I think will win. It was a real toss up this year as to which team colours to knit; Brazil were the hosts and international favourites but Germany looked really strong and the Netherlands also looked promising while Argentina has a formidable star striker. However, I decided to go with the team who looked most cohesive and had not only great strikers but also outstanding mid-field and solid defense: Germany (although the Netherlands was my strong second favourite).

Germany wins the World Cup 2014

Besides watching the World Cup, I have been going for plenty of walks around the neighbourhood with J this past week, meeting friends for tea or knitting, and doing a little gardening. The strawberries are finally starting to ripen! Also growing nicely is parsley, oregano, chives, garlic and some little dill and lavender seedlings.

Thankfully the side effects of the CIS-Gem chemo remain minimal and allow me to continue to live quite normally. The side effects I do have are some dizziness or lightheadedness, unpredictable sleepiness or sleeplessness, a touch of nausea for the first couple days after treatment and an occasionally crazy appetite (I eat the same as J for some meals). The only time I really notice feeling different though is when we’re out for a walk and we either walk too fast or are climbing a hill; that’s when the dizziness might set in but all I have to do is slow down or bring a walking stick with me which keeps me feeling sure-footed.
This Friday (the 18th) I start my final cycle of treatment. A second treatment will be on the 25th followed by a CT scan on July 29. The appointment to receive the results hasn’t been scheduled yet but it will be sometime in the first week of August.

Dr.McCarthy has already given her ‘permission’ for me to travel a little after this round of chemo is done so I’m planning a trip home mid-August. Hopefully there will be some family get-togethers (maybe/hopefully also including my sister – no pressure T) and time to meet up with friends. I’ll be in touch once the dates are a little closer.
Looking forward to seeing everyone again!

In the meantime, hope every one is enjoying their summer.

4 down, 2 to go!

In honour of my fourth chemo treatment of CIS-Gem on July 4th, I found this quote to share:

“There are four ways you can handle fear. You can go over it, under it, or around it. But if you are ever to put fear behind you, you must walk straight through it. Once you put fear behind you, leave it there.” -Donna A. Favors

I’ve said this before but it’s worth saying again: I’m grateful for the freedom I’ve been given while on my cancer journey. Some people are very ill, very tired, besieged by side effects, or all of the above. I’ve been eating very well, my energy level is quite good, and my health has returned since the scare back in May.
Can I credit my good fortune to facing my fear? I do my best to enjoy each day whether I’m out for a walk, reading a book or doing something creative. Taking pleasure in the small things simplifies my life in such a way that I feel stronger and able to “walk through the fear”. Cancer is challenging at times, no doubt about that… and yet I find I can face the hours at the clinic and all that goes with living with cancer because I have things to relish and buoy me up.

As I celebrate another lovely Saturday of feeling well I want to thank everyone again for all their support which certainly buoys me up and adds to my ability to face any fear that comes my way.
Nothing to fear next week though… it’s my week off from treatment so I have no clinic appointments until July 15th! Woo Hoo!