A few of you have expressed concern about how I’m doing in the absence of a recent blog post. Thank you! Short answer: I’m still kicking! Ok, I don’t really “kick”, but I am still here. If you would like a longer answer and wish to learn more about my health, keep reading. I will also write about my other non-hospital activities too. Scroll ahead to the photos if you want to skip over the health stuff.
My previous post was from the 10th of July under the title “Smooth Sailing”. Well, this last month has demonstrated that my figurative sail boat has some minor holes in it. I am not sinking but I definitely need a bail bucket in the form of continued Neuopogen injections. Dr.Dent had suggested reducing my week 1 dose to 4 days, rather than 5, after my treatment on July 16th… I didn’t have a chance to try the lower dose as my neutrophils jumped ship and fell from 20 to 0.8 even with the Neupogen and my usual week off from chemo. The nurses at clinic were shocked. They delayed me to July 23rd but my neutros were still at only 0.8. If I was delayed again that would have been 4 weeks since the last treatment. One of my new favourite nurses decided that this was unacceptable and tracked Dr.Dent down to discuss what to do, in person, rather than risk miscommunication over the phone Dr.Dent agreed that further delay was a bad idea, as my cancer likes to grow when given the chance, so treatment went ahead with neutros at 0.8 and I was told to take Neuopogen again for 6 days.
Treatment day came on July 30th and again the nurses were shocked as my neutros climbed back on-board to 35.1. They had never seen numbers like mine… I did reach 39 once while in treatment in St.John’s, but this was a first for the staff at the Ottawa clinic. No issue with receiving chemo with numbers like that (as long as I didn’t have a fever, which I didn’t). Next treatment day was Aug.13th. I had taken my Neuopogen shots for 6 days, as per Dr.Dent’s instructions, followed by my scheduled week off. Care to make a guess as to what my neutros were? Were you close with a guess of 1.0? Not low enough? Indeed, they had fallen to a mystifying 0.6. Welcome to the neutrophil rollercoaster! Delayed again.
Aug.20th, Day 1 of cycle 10 on CIS-Gem… Neutros continue to be stubborn despite another 6 days of the booster and a week off: they only rose to 0.8. Dr.Dent was called. I could hear the nurses’ side of the conversation and Dr.Dent was clearly surprised but gave the green light for treatment as long as I take the 6 days of booster again. So I did. Day 8 of my cycle arrived on Aug.27th. Where were my neutros going to be? Every week J, mom and I make guesses as to what the number will be. J is often the closest. I guessed 19, mom offered 24.1 but it was J who was closest with a guess of 32. The actual result: 49! The nurse was sure I must have an infection, but no. My temperature and bloodwork is normal, except for the crazy white blood cells.
We met with Dr.Dent on the 24th and the treatment plan continues to be CIS-Gem as long as I’m tolerating it well. I had a CT scan on Friday (Aug.28th). If the results show that I have continued tumour reduction, or am stable, Dr.Dent is again suggesting that I’m due for a break. J thinks I should be given an award for most cycles of CIS-Gem taken, and with basically no side effects. I’ve just finished cycle 16 since May 2014. That makes for 32 injections of chemo over 15 months. That is a long time to be on these particular drugs. The medications I could switch to are Faslodex, which I’ve discuss before, or Xeloda. I need to read about Xeloda as I know nothing about it except that it’s a daily oral pill. That would be great… Tired of needles and trips to the clinic! However, I want to make an informed choice so J and I will do our homework so that I am prepared should the CT scan reveal good news.
I realize that all these paragraphs with numbers and dates and drug names can be confusing. I don’t apologize for that as I hold to my position that these details may be useful for another cancer patient. That being said, let’s move on to more fun things.
Tolerating treatment, good news. Maybe a break from chemo, good news. Break-through from artists’ block at last, good news! Very little had been on the go artistically since finishing Canyonlands back in April. I thought I might paint a horse portrait or a landscape of the Grand Canyon… I wasn’t feeling inspired to follow through. I was spending a fair bit of time playing with yarn: sorting, winding, labelling… my cats were happy to help.
Hazel inspects the yarn while Fini points to the entry on my spreadsheet.
I enjoy playing with yarn but at the same time felt I was letting my artistic slide slip. In mid-July J came up with the brilliant idea of my doing a portrait of an inspiring person and hanging it in my studio. It probably isn’t hard to guess who I chose to draw. There is no shortage of interesting artists but, for me, Van Gogh is the epitome of a highly creative person. I also greatly admire his style, adherence to the principles he believed in, and dedication to finding his way in life. Some may argue that his artistic success is marred by his mental state. However, I don’t hold it against him. Everyone has issues if you look deep enough! To inspire myself, I completed two drawings based on self-portraits of Van Gogh. Hazel took charge of inspecting how I began and was as helpful as ever.
My drawings are below, one in charcoal and one in oil pastel. The paintings I based my drawings on can be found here and here.
I’ve also started three canvases of scenes from Algonquin Park based on photos from the trip J and I took in 2012. Here is a preview of the process to start these paintings: pencil sketches (2×3″ each), little oil pastel colour sketches (also about 2×3″), a colour study in oil paint (8×10″), then full size charcoal drawings (20×24″ each), and finally the beginnings of the oil paintings. All good fun… Hoping to finish the paintings next month.
My neutrophils have kept me from socializing, somewhat, so I’ve kept my activities home based for the most part. I do go to visit with my mom at her house about once a week in addition to the chemo appointments she takes me to. Usually we knit a little and watch an episode of The Amazing Race Canada. My home activities revolved around gardening when my energy and body felt cooperative. J and I moved to this house in December. Springtime revealed a severely overgrown back yard. Creeping plants had taken over; large hardy Geranium, two forms of Lamium, “outhouse” flowers, and violets. Pretty in season, definitely, but the yard looked very unkempt.
Two views of the yard before the make-over.
Little by little, over the summer, I weeded and pulled and weeded some more. I eventually found where the edge of the garden lived once upon a time and unearthed over 120 paving stones buried under the overgrown plants and years of leaf fall. So, then I set about resetting the stones and reseeding the grass. By the time all this was done the garden centres had their end of season sales. I was able to buy at least two dozen new plants for about $50, mostly native too (Rudbeckia, Echinacea, Jacob’s Ladder, Coral Bells, Hardy Geraniums, Daisies, Astilbe). The garden already had some Tiger Lily, Hosta, Raspberry, “Outhouse” flower, and Ostrich ferns… so it will fill in nicely over the years. Next up is to give Buster a nicer enclosure. The plywood works well to keep him from wandering away but I would like something more aesthetic. In the meantime, he enjoys hiding under the hostas I moved in there and swimming in a makeshift pool (a large, shallow Rubbermaid bin).
The new garden, and slight view into Buster’s enclosure.
To finish this post, I would like to share one final piece of good news referring back to the idea of smooth sailing… J and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary on August 27th! We had hoped to make a trip to the east coast as we had done for our honeymoon but with my treatment delays, we ended up spending a good part of our anniversary at the cancer clinic. J is on vacation this coming week so we may make a trip yet if my energy remains good. Maybe to his family’s cottage or some camping.
Given the right person to share your life travels with, life can throw all sorts of things your way and not only is it enjoyable but you look forward to many more years ahead. Life is like a river… you go with the flow, find hope in the adventure, paddle through the wavy parts and enjoy the view along the way.
Happy sailing!
My Finest Hour 